"WHAT WOMEN WANT"
Tune into Channel 9's brand new programme "What Women Want" on Saturday the 18th July at 4pm featuring The Sanctuary of Tantra and Women's Sacred Sexuality. Many thanks to Leslie, Lara and Dawn for their participation in the event and for being so patient and brave with the Camera right up close and personal! The interview will be posted on the website and also aired on the Aurora Foxtel Channel (dates to be advised).
TANTRA MEDITATION
Just a reminder that Master Alex Lim will be the Special Guest Speaker at the Meditation evening 22nd July at 7.15pm on Meditation and Spiritual Practices. Please remember to bring your yoga mat, cushion, water, blanket and your smiling face. The cost is $20 per person and will be held at THE FORRESTFIELD HALL, Cnr Hale Road and Anderson Road, Forrestfield. Please advise numbers for attendance. Fruit Platters will be supplied at break time.
Alex Lim was born in Central Java, Indonesia in 1955 of Indonesian Chinese parents. Starting Gymnastics at the age of 9, by 11 he was already into formal classes of Kung-Fu, which introduced him to small parts of Qigong of which he is now a Master. By 14, he was made an assistant instructor and over the years to follow, he became familiar and experimented with numerous other martial arts, including western boxing.
Early exposure to mysticism and spirituality was rekindled in his early thirties, when he rediscovered Yoga (which he continues to practise to this very day alongside Qigong & meditation). His wide interest in health, healing, and spirituality resulted in him formally studying Acupuncture & Chinese Medicine. Other studies include 'Spiritual Protection' under the guidance of "Grandpa" Abdullah, 'Self Knowledge' with Swami Suddhananda, and 'I Liq Chuan' (a variation of Tai Chi) with Grand Master Sam Chin.
TANTRA EXPEDITION TO AFRICA
Full details are now on the web under RETREATS for the Tantra Expedition to The White Lion Heartland Equinox 22nd March 2010. An incredible journey to Heal Self and the Great Mother (Earth).
TANTRA AND THE PROBLEM OF SEX - An interesting Tantra article written by a client from the Sanctuary
It was J M Coetzee who first derived the term? the problem of sex? in his
modern day classic ?Disgrace?. To view sex in the context of a problem is
a unique and honest perspective of how many people experience their sexuality.
This common experience is very different to how sex is portrayed in the media
where it is often simplified into a long procession of exciting passion-filled
tryst with boundless possibilities and endless variety. If we are to believe
what we read, if you are not doing at least three times a week then you are
positively missing out.
The problem of sex is as varied as the people who exhibit them but there
are certainly common themes which broadly apply to various age groups and
life stages. One theme, on which this article will focus, is the expression
of sexuality for those who are older (mid-life) and who have been partnered
for a long time.
People in later life have invariably ?been through the menu? as far as life?s
experiences go, including the highs and low of relationships, careers, travel
and of course sex. There is a tendency at this life stage to become stuck
or fixated on a particular approach to life that can be both a blessing and
a curse: a blessing because it allows people to repeat a successful formula
and a curse because it hinders change.
One approach to life that many people have become adept at is problem solving
and strategising. In essence, people see themselves as being ?here? but need
to be ?there? so their lives become focused on navigating and facilitating
a smooth passage - or so we hope. The great temptation is to treat the problem
of sex in the same way. But the problem of sex is not so amenable to our
grand schemes and manipulations. Somehow, the terms ?strategy? and ?sex?
don?t go that well together in long term relationships. Strategy might work
for a male to entice his new lover into bed, but in older well established
relationships, people need to be vulnerable, go deeper and engage with an
open heart and learn to make deep compromises. This is not something we often
associate with strategy and clinical problem solving.
Another observation is that the barriers to communication are raised in proportion
to the age of the relationship. We often wonder why it is so much more difficult
to talk about sex as compared to for example, one?s career aspirations. This
is a curious position to find oneself in, because in reality, sexual fulfilment
is a need just like any other need. Compare these two conversations with
your spouse: ?I?ll leave work early and pick up the kids while you do the
shopping? with, ?I?ll arrange for the fur lined hand cuffs while you????.
It would be fair to say that only a very small minority of long term relationships
would experience the second type discourse at all. So just being able to
talk about our sexual needs is an important hurdle in dealing with the problem
of sex.
The previous ideas about problem solving and communication show that in essence,
the problem of sex is not a genital problem, but rather a brain problem.
Intimately tied to the brain is the experience of our inner world and how
we deal with the sexual emotions and urges within us.
Our sexuality can often seem all smoke and mirrors where largely irrational
thoughts rage and subside in accordance with a sexual desire emanating from
a deeper source within. As such, our sexuality can involve strong feelings
of emotional ambiguity and mental conflict as our minds try to make sense
of this ?thing? within us. This conflict can for example be exhibited in
our relationship with our life-long partner whom we may cherish deeply, and
towards whom we may feel a deep sense of emotional connection. Yet, at the
same time, we may also feel drawn by longing for freedom of sexual expression
in an environment where emotional connection is not important. In this setting,
we experience a sense of danger and excitement that pervades the sexual experience
and fuels the flames of desire. Yet our mind will not allow this, and after
having such an experience (even only in fantasy), the accusing finger of
the mind is pointed towards us and says ?shame on you!?
Our environment has also much to do with our experience of the problem of
sex in later life. In simple terms, after creating a nest and filling it
with a surfeit of hard and soft furnishings (and needless to say a few children)
we tend to loose our way. This is especially the case in the bedroom where
our experience of sensual pleasure becomes unfulfilling and sporadic with
a long time between drinks. Excitement, fulfilment and sexual interest are
lost in the unending ?to-do? list that our lives become. Why do the terms
that that we use to gauge the success of our lives like ?management?, ?control?,
?efficiency? and ?effectiveness? seem so anti-erotic?
There is a certain depressing inevitability about this progression into such
a later life malaise and our attempts at rebellion are often feeble and misguided.
Are not our aspirations for executive bonuses or luxury cars and houses part
of this rebellion? Might we be saying- if I can?t have this [a fulfilling
sex life], then I might as well have that [the envy of my peers]. At least
they might think I?m getting it because we all know what an aphrodisiac money
is supposed to be!?
Over time our views of sex and attitudes towards various activities and practices
change driven largely by a need for novelty and variation. Our sexuality
is evolving and creating a situation where our long-term partner is able
to remain fully in tune with our sexual needs is a challenge. We are certainly
not the same people who made the decision to enter into a long-term partnership
many years ago when perhaps our sexual needs were more basic and urgent and
when our sexual experiences seemed new and exciting.
For middle aged people, not only has their sexual landscape changed but it
can remain ill- defined. Sometimes all we know is that we have deeper urges
and longings but we are unsure of how they might possibly be sated. Somehow
the answer to this question is so much more complex than regressing to a
pornographic phase where every orifice is fair game.
You might also think that this is all solved through good loving communication
but life is never this simple as demonstrated earlier. While opening up is
important, it may not necessarily lead to a suitably willing partner ? he
or she might never want to swing from the chandeliers.
So while all of these difficulties and obstacles described previously might
seem overwhelming, there is an alternative to defeatism: we can resolve to
change our attitudes and outlook on life.
To do this, I suggest that you turn to the ideas of people who have explored
this theme before. One of the most important people in this regard is Marquis
De Sade who considered the pursuit of human pleasure the object of human
life. He also thought that people had the capacity to extend their possibilities
for pleasure by wilful and intellectual effort.
By observation it appears that our broader society has taken on the ideas
of De Sade with gay abandon judging by the amount of sexually related material
that is published especially in popular magazines and on the internet. The
sad reality however is quite different ? most have chosen lifestyles that
are positively against developing a pursuit of human pleasure which is a
great paradox. We choose other things and by default, choose not to have
sex.
So let?s be clear, problems in the bedroom are not easily overcome. It takes
a great deal of effort, vulnerability, sacrifice and honesty. We have to
understand how important sex is to us and what are prepared to loose to gain
a deeper sense of fulfilment. How much wilful and intellectual effort are
we prepared to expend to achieve sexual fulfilment? How honest will we allow
ourselves to be about our sexual needs and are we prepared to gently communicate
them to our partner?
Once we have decided to come to terms with the problem of sex in our own
lives and have resolved to overcome the communication obstacle, then there
is scope to explore techniques for deepening our capacity to experience and
share sensual pleasure.
One such tool is the practise of Tantra since it encourages communication,
asks you to share quality time with your partner and above all, promotes
a deep sense of eroticism in the relationship. This is important because,
like De Sade?s ideas, it places the expression of sexuality at the centre
of our lives - where it belongs.
Tantra silences the mind ? since in Tantra there are no problems to be solved.
Tantra teaches us to exist in the moment and become highly aware of, and
sensitive to, our own and our partner?s level of arousal. With Tantra, the
body does the talking and we move onto a new space of erotic possibility.
So instead of living in a world where we feel burdened and cornered by the
problem of sex, the practise of Tantra can push the walls away and reveal
an expanded world of sensual possibility.
(If you have an interesting article you would like to share on Tantra or advertise your business in The Healing Page please contact Cathy cathy@sanctuaryoftantra.com.au)
THE HEALING PAGE
Inspirational Spiritual Healer - Nicky Steadman
Nicky has been an Inspirational Spiritual Healer for the past 10 years, specialising in clearing blocked energies, releasing unwanted issues, regaining the true-self and spiritual readings.
With the help of her spiritual guides she can guide you to boost your self confidence, know your self worth and take back your own power to enrich the life your were truly meant to live.
Each of us deserves to live the life we dream of, it is achievable if you allow yourself to believe.
Contact Nicky on 0423 190 271 or nicolasteadman@hotmail.com for more information